AKA Reptile versus Humanity
The brain will always choose the easiest way; the way that conserves the most energy and time.
The heart will always choose what matters most; the way that is worth any amount of energy and time.
My dreams have caused me to make very important choices. Choices that should have been difficult, but were not – because I chose love. I have had to compromise in many of these. I had to compromise by wishing the love of my life to be happy, and to be happy myself even though he is not with me. I had to compromise to ensure a life was saved even though it caused trouble in that same life, and caused it to hate me.
I accept that my dreams and my awareness will one day bring others’ jealousy and malicious acts into my life, and that it means I will not have a family of my own. There used to be fear involved, fear that made me sick and depressed and suicidal even. After surviving fear and surviving myself, I decided to replace all fear with love.
There were words posted today on facebook by Paulo Coelho, from his book The Alchemist. It is one of my most beloved of all stories. The words he posted were in my mind shortly before I read them, though I did not recall them from the story until I was reminded.
“My Heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky. “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.”
The fear is indeed worse than the suffering; the pain is severe but the reward is greater than can be imagined and comes in a form which can never be removed and can be shared infinitely.
I wrote the above verses about my choices; my promise to choose love even and especially when it is the most challenging. It is also about choosing to be cooperative and nurturing as a human rather than to let the selfish and competitive instinct take hold. I could never judge anyone for choosing the easy way, but it is not the path I chose.